There's no such thing as a perfect friend, but some friends are not really friends at all. If someone leaves you out, doesn't listen, disrespects your beliefs, feelings or opinions, is unkind, puts you down, isn't trustworthy, doesn't apologise when they've made a mistake, laughs at you, and isn't there for you in the tough times - you might want to rethink your friendship. Sometimes it's tempting to be friends with someone because they're popular, not because they're a good friend. If you're having trouble finding a best friend, focus on being a good friend to others. The true test of a good friend is that they encourage you to be the best version of yourself.
A quirky song about repairing a fractured friendship.
It can be hard to find your tribe or your squad in high school. Friendship groups change and morph and you can be left sitting on the sidelines. When my daughter was in high school she struggled to find her tribe - she was friends with everyone but didn't have a group of close friends. Now that she is in her twenties she has more friends than you can count. Remember that high school does not reflect what the test of your life will look like. If you're having trouble finding your crew, here are some tips:
My teenage self can totally identify with this song. I'm happy to say that my adult self found a tribe of like-minded friends.
The restrictions in place during the Covid 19 pandemic have meant that we have had very little face to face interaction apart from the people we live with. As restrictions ease, most states are allowing people to gather in small groups (while still maintaining 1.5m distance). You can still connect with your friends online but that's not the same.
Covid 19 may have also impacted your physical activity as organised sports and gyms closed down. Why not get together with a friend (or several) to enjoy some face to face social connection and physical activity. You could go for a bike ride, walk the dog, go for a jog, do your own yoga, pilates or HIT session at the park, or go for a walk on the beach. If the weather is not suitable for outdoor activities, find an online exercise class or dance lesson to do together. An added bonus is that you can motivate each other to move your bodies and possibly get some fresh air.
NOTE: Please check the restrictions in your state.
We’re really good at sharing random stuff like what we ate for lunch, a blow by blow of what we did today, a rant about the latest episode of [insert latest popular Netflix series] but we’re not really good at sharing what’s really going on in our lives. We don't talk about how we’re going at school, how we're getting along with our parents, or things that we're scared of. Psychologists endorse talking as a way of dealing with stress. It's hard to be open and honest if we're too busy hiding our deep dark secrets behind our insta-worthy facades. Find a trustworthy friend and tell them about what's going on in your life. Ask them what's going on in their life too. Sharing helps - sometimes talking about stuff helps us to sort things out. Sometimes you might need to talk to a trusted adult instead - a parent, aunt, friend's mum, school chaplain or teacher. If you can't find a trusted adult you can always call a helpline.
Kids Helpline (5-25 year olds) 1800 55 1800
Headspace (12-25 year olds) 1800 650 890
Lifeline 13 11 14.
We've all had friends say it to us and we've all said it to our friends and family. "I'm fine" can be code for "I'm not really ok but I don't have the energy or words to explain and I'm not sure if you really want the truth." By asking "how are you really?" we are telling the other person that we care and want to help. Sometimes the act of talking about something can make them feel better. But if your friend shares that they want to hurt themselves or someone else, find an understanding adult who can help. Talk to a school counsellor, chaplain or teacher, a parent, aunty, family friend or someone else you can trust.